Saturday, February 2, 2013

Fading dreams and grieving!

I had these wonderful ideas of what type of homeschool I would have.  Between moving around a lot, a limited income with a large family, and a depressed and unwell me, it just hasn't happened how I hoped. 

I have been cleaning bookshelves and moving books around.  I am finding the emotions to be similar to those of doing the final pack up of the baby clothes when you know you won't likely have anymore.  Regret for what hasn't happened, a loss of hope that the wonderful stuff will happen, and grief that my chances are gone. 

I know, we could go back to homeschooling, but I will very unlikely never get the chance to try out those wonderful Montessori ideas that I had great hopes of using with my preschoolers.  There was always a young baby in the arms and I just didn't have the energy to do more than keep everyone healthy and happy and safe.

Maybe I will cull some of those books.  It may be time to let go!

But not just yet!


1 comment:

  1. Hi Jen, I read this post earlier and felt your disappointment. I couldn't think of anything of comfort then, nor can I now but sending you a friendly, encouraging hug across the miles. We all have to make the hard decisions according to the circumstances. xo


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